Prepare the Patties: In a large bowl, gently combine ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper (if using), salt, and pepper. Be careful not to overmix.

Form the Patties: Divide the mixture into four equal portions and form into patties, slightly larger than the buns to allow for shrinkage during cooking. Create a slight indentation in the center of each patty to prevent them from bulging.

Make the "Crack" Sauce: In a small bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, ketchup, yellow mustard, sweet pickle relish, white vinegar, garlic powder, and sugar. Adjust seasonings to taste.

Cook the Patties: Heat a cast-iron skillet or grill pan over medium-high heat. Add the patties and cook for 4-5 minutes per side for medium doneness, or until desired doneness is reached. During the last minute of cooking, top each patty with a slice of cheddar cheese and allow it to melt.

Toast the Buns: Toast the brioche buns until golden brown.

Assemble the Burgers: Spread a generous amount of "Crack" sauce on both the top and bottom buns. Place shredded lettuce on the bottom bun, followed by the cheeseburger patty, crispy bacon strips, and pickled jalapeños (if using). Top with the top bun and serve immediately.